Here is my journey of life till now, that may give you some more positive vibes to work for your goals and desires. I remember, I always searched for MDCAT stories but I could only find one good story. I saved that post and whenever I needed some motivation I would read that post. So here it is;
Started from the zero. Now am here. I was a pretty brilliant student in my early classes in a Govt Primary School, Pind Dadan Khan, Jhelum. But things changed for me when I was shifted to the private school of our own in a semi city, Bhalwal, Sargodha. I lost interest in studies. I became lazy. Teachers never asked me about lessons since my father was the principal. It sometimes irritated me in a way that I wanted to be treated like a common student. I wanted the same decorum like the other students.
But overall, I enjoyed this student life. No uniform. No punctuality. No decipline. That made me, somehow, very less serious towards my studies. I spent 4 years, from grade 4th to 8th, in this situation that caused huge losses in my academics. I was now an average student. Then I joined another school, which was a Govt School. I did my Matric. In 9th grade, I started taking things seriously. I had enough determination I, somehow, scored 466/550 in 9th. Was far away from my goal. I and my teachers expected much more than this. In 10th. Worked more. Got 977/1100 in Matric. 2nd position in the school.
The score was not good, but at least, good enough for me. Because the four years of non-seiousness had left me with rotten and hollow academics. From my hand writing to English Grammar, nearly everything was just average, even somethings were below average. Then I went into PGC Bhalwal. I was at 21st rank from boys and a bigger number overall. That was something I never liked. The discrimination based on my low marks, disgusted me.
There was a voice from within. “I don’t deserve this! Am the best! I deserve much more reputation than this! I am not for this 21st rank! I will prove myself” First year was something important. I had been working really hard to score good, I was doing great in my college tests. but I got 422/505 only. Much lower than what I thought! I was just super surprised by what I got! I remember my friend told me yhe result and I said “Yar, dobara dekho, phone edhr do. It must not be my result. It must be someone else’s. How they can do this me?”
I fell backwards , and handled myself to sit on the side of a chair. A teacher came to me and asked “ktny marks ae Zeeshan?. I replied in a gloomy tone, “sir, bs 422”. He replied “Achy marks hen”. And tears nearly rolled down my eyes at his reply of just “achy marks” On the day, a friend of mine said “tmhry 450 aen gy” . I said “wtf bakwas na kro, itny kam q any” Definitely, I had worked hard but, Bad handwriting! Grammar mistakes! They worked well! 66/100 in English. 74/100 in Urdu. And not very good marks in science subjects either.
Suicidal thoughts... Someone had just thrown water on the fire I had in my heart for my goals. I was again in the average band of students. That was killing me! Nothing is bad than being at a place which you feel doesn’t belong to you! 2nd year! Scored overall 947. Good but not very good. Again I was little disappointed. As I focused a lot on Urdu and English but all in vain. I thought, “I can’t fight on these grounds”
In mdcat, I worked. But I knew I would not make it. My aggregate was 85 something. From STEP. I worked a lot in MDCAT but couldn’t score very well. I thought, sometimes, “I am not made for this, I am not enough for a Medical College” But I had to try it. I had to, at least, give my best. Whatever I had in my hands. I was determined to dedicate myself to it. “” I wrote on my wall AIMC 2019-24 (Shaheen).”” Without a doubt , AIMC, at least for me, is the best and most suitable place in Pakistan to get a degree of MBBS. But how can I say that? People would have called me “a jealous?”
They would shout out this slang on me “grapes are sour” Definitely, KE is higher merit and seems the best. So, I set my actual dream. It was not just going to AIMC, but going to AIMC while having the merit of KE. I wanted this prestige. I had to work for it. I started my gap year. There was a fire in my heart. My heart was burning with it. I saw nothing but MBBS. No plan B. No dedication to any other feild. AIMC! and MBBS from AIMC! That’s it.
My attitude was like “I DON’T NEED ANY ACADEMY TO HELP MYSELF” ” I can do it myself”. “And I would do it better.” Repeated FSC and improved my marks in the subjects which had brought a lot of disgrace to me in first attempt. Urdu and English, also Physics. It was tiring work. It had took me hundreds of pages to write and make my presentation up to the mark even above the mark.
I improved an overall of 84 marks (1031) with an exceptional improvement of Urdu (150 to 182/200). And it was never through magic. I remember that time when our teacher and students used to mock over my bad handwriting! I really proved myself! I had even received these lines about my writing “Sooty hoe likhty ho? Paaon sy likhty ho? nashy men likhty ho?” I proved all of them extremely wrong. MDCAT, I prepared at HOME!
Worked hard. Put everything in it. Whatever I had. Whatever I could do. And I got 190/200. Aggregate 94.36%. I remember when I was checking the result of FSC when it was all going to be final. I was so emotional, nervous and fearful. I sent a message on the code of our board and put the phone upside down. My aggregate with old marks was 90.5% which was surely not enough. I had worked hard but I always doubted myself. I always thought that I am not good enough for this. I can’t make it. The message of result was received.
The notification sound rang. But I could not check the result. I was too nervous. I think manytears were rolling down my eyes. I was crying without knowing that I am crying. Finally,,,,,,, I picked the phone up, scrolled down to see the final result while ignoring the marks of each subject. And here it was “1031” . I nearly shrieked and cried out in a second, all the pains that I had been carrying for a long time. I went out to meet my mum. Told her the result. Loudly , I said ” ab tw aimc men bhe merit ban skta hy” Texted my father about the result while got the reply “good”. He did not seem to believe it. When came back he said “Mujhy tw yakeen nahi a raha k itny marks agae” Hugged me.
And I would always count that day as the best day of my life! Preferred my dream medical school! AIMC! and became merit number 5 in the list! Yeah! This was what I deserved! Today I thank myself! For facing everything without giving up. For working on the odd hours. For sacrificing. For not enjoying. For limiting my social circles. For not meeting friends and relatives. It was never easy! But I thank myself today.
CREDIT: ZESHAN BALOCH FOR SHARING HIS STORY